Poor Nader

It's nice when everyone can put aside their partisan differences and lend a helping hand, as a human being... Of course this story makes it to the front page of msnbc, but why don't we ever see any other Nader stories? Oh, you mean these? I think journalists have a rule that you're not allowed to mention Ralph Nader in an article unless "Al Gore lost in 2000" or "threat to Democrats" is mentioned in the same piece. Of course the press isn't cutting him any slack. Observe this silly column:

Now, I would’ve cut Nader some slack—hey, he’s still right on so many of the issues, even if he remains unapologetic for creating an administration that is wrong on so many of the issues—but for the fact that he is entirely wrong about his fourth sign of “social decay.” “Gluttony is rapidly becoming a competitive sport, in what its euphemists call ‘competitive eating,’” Nader wrote. “There is even an International Federation of Competitive Eating, which presides over dozens of events a year where contestants inhale hot dogs, matzo balls and chicken wings. What’s next—mayonnaise?” See? I told you Nader was out of touch: Mayonnaise is already a vibrant part of the competitive eating circuit. Oleg Zhornitskiy ate 136 ounces of Hellmann’s at the Glutton Bowl last year, a record that I think will stand for generations. Look, I have no equal when it comes to condemning American gluttony, from high-fat fast food to gas-guzzling SUVs. But Nader’s condemnation of the IFOCE willfully ignores the sport’s fundamental beauty (full disclosure: I am the Federation’s recording secretary—but only for the free hot dogs, I assure you). Competitive eating is the only sport entirely dominated by average folk like you and me (even bowling has celebrities nowadays). As such, it is our most democratic sport. Unlike the myth that any American kid can grow up to be president, any child who really puts his stomach to it can be a competitive eating champion. Ed “Cookie” Jarvis, the American hot dog, cannoli, chicken-fried steak, dumpling, ice cream and chicken wing-eating champion? He’s a real estate broker from Long Island. Eric “Badlands” Booker, the burrito, cheesecake, corned-beef hash and matzo ball champion? He’s a conductor on the 7 line of the New York City subway system. Hirofumi “The Kofu Consumer” Nakajima, who ushered in seven years of Japanese domination of the sport? He’s a furniture delivery boy. More important, competitive eating is constantly pushing our society forward. Sure, hot dogs and mayonnaise get all the attention, but the IFOCE just sponsored the first-ever turducken-eating contest last week in New York. (Turducken, for the uninitiated, is an ethereal Thanksgiving treat consisting of a turkey stuffed with a boneless chicken that’s been stuffed with a boneless duck breast. Order one at turducken.com.) “Turducken is the first real advancement in Thanksgiving since the Indians sat down with the Pilgrims,” said IFOCE president George Shea. “I’m so pleased that the IFOCE is playing a part in advancing our entire culture.” And the best thing about last week’s turducken-eating contest was that the winner was none other than 100-pound Sonya Thomas, the sport’s brightest rising star. Watching the svelte Thomas eat 7 ¾ pounds of turducken dinner while standing cheek-by-jowl with Jarvis and Booker (both about 400 pounds) was a sight of athletic majesty that Ralph Nader simply couldn’t understand.

Now, I didn't read the editorial this columnist is refering to, but I find it hard to believe that Nader identified "eating competitions" as his fourth sign of social decay. More likely, he had chosen gluttony as the fourth sign of social decay and was illustrating with an anecdote, which was the phenomenon of "eating competitions." Moreover, I find this guy's fervor for food competitions rather off-putting. Is he really helping to make his point and giving his opinion credibility by going on a five-paragraph rant displaying his intimate knowledge of the rising stars of eating competitions? And I love the half-hearted attempt to equate eating competitions with democracy. But really, this time Nader shows all the signs of wanting to help the Democrats. He displays an awareness that this time, his campaign is subordinate to theirs. For instance, for a long time he had been urging John Kerry to pick Edwards as his running mate. And one of his favorite defenses for his candidacy is that he's able to attack Bush in ways that are politically impossible for Democrats - like the political equivalent Islamic Jihad and Hamas for Arafat. Granted, this may be nothing more than a contrived defense - like his generally unconvincing attempts at defending his role in the 2000 election outcome ("Al Gore lost the election for Al Gore"). I still wish the press would give him some coverage. Because - and I am officially owning this claim - I predict that before election day, Nader will drop out of the race and strongly endorse Kerry. Nader's still an activist at heart (he's certainly not a presidential candidate), and this exactly the kind of thing an activist would do. Update: On the other hand, if Nader really believes everything he says about the political system being broken and the Democrats being failures, his real intention may be to elect what he considers the worst administration possible, hoping to create a backlash and eventually a reform movement that he would potentially lead. It's hard to say what he's really thinking. At times he says the Democrats are no better than Republicans, and other times he acknowledges that a Democratic victory would be preferable to a Republican victory. His website right now features a quote saying, "can you imagine if the Abolitionist Party was told not to run against the pro-slavery Whigs and Democratic Parties." I don't know what exactly is occuring in America that reaches the level of slavery (campaign finance, inadequate minimum wage, foreign policy?). If Nader truly thinks that the state of the country is broken beyond the scope of the two-party system to repair, then I think it's fair to say that he's out of touch. America has seen equal turmoil and internal strife to what it's experiencing right now, and was able to come to some point of concilliation without going full-scale revolution.